Abbreviated Easter report.

Dutch put out a cookie, a hardboiled egg, and a note for the Easter Bunny.

Skipper woke up early, and was so confused by the idea of the Easter egg hunt that she had to throw a tantrum. But nobody barfed! Happy Easter!

Today

Second sunny day IN A ROW!!! Also, dying Easter eggs in our sunny backyard, the extremely-low-tech way. Also, Skipper, completely whiny and floppy due to some sort of barfing bug* which seems to be done now.** Also, Dutch, who is overcome with excitement about the Easter Bunny.

*This was Skipper's first barf ever, and she was understandably appalled and terrified. After the first time, I asked her if she felt like she was going to throw up again, and she said "NO! Me not WANT do dat again!" as if her refusal was going to stop the virus in its tracks.

** for HER, at least. I dread the prospect of all of us getting sick. I took Dutch to get some supplies this morning (pretzels and gingerale), just in case we all get felled at once again, because I do NOT want to repeat the miserable zombie episode of a few months ago.

Not a lot going on...

I'm writing more because I feel that I should than because I have anything to say. Hello! Here's what's going on:

1) The grapes are budding!

2) I went to the dentist. After Dutch's appointment in May, we will all be dentisted up for a while.

3) I came close to getting a job, but didn't. I'm having to take a good hard look at our budget and my job that I don't much enjoy, and I'm realizing that I can't afford to leave this job. I am never going to get another job, so I should probably clutch that bird a little tighter in the hand. Ugh.

4) Cook is being trained to do a different tedious task at work, so now he'll have TWO different tedious tasks to do during his days! Variety is the spice of life!

5) Between Skipper's tantrums and Dutch's histrionics, it feels like a Victorian-era insane asylum around here. Not that we're using straitjackets.

6) That's all. I'll let you know if something interesting happens.

Two

Two years ago today!

Today. This is Skipper preparing to be sung to in the morning.

This is Skipper opening her cards and presents. She was perplexed; she kept saying suspiciously "Dis mine? Dis MY present?" I suspect that because she is a same-gender second kid, she doesn't really believe that anything is hers alone, because almost nothing is.

The sun was out much of the day - Dutch and Skipper had a picnic snack in the yard after school. Please note the variety of colors and patterns they managed to cram together in one photo.

Skipper got carrot cake with creamcheese frosting (no nuts, at her request) after dinner. She wolfed it down with impressive speed.

This is Dutch between bouts of sulking about the unfairness of Skipper getting presents and cake.

I stay up too late

I am very, very tired. I think my sleep deficit is the size of the nation's debt. Every night, I think "I HAVE to go to sleep at a reasonable time tonight."

Every night I stay up too late.* That time after the girls are asleep is so precious that I just can't find the willpower to give it up.** It's the time when I am not defined by my parenting role, and I can cast around a little bit to try to remember who I am.*** When I go to sleep, that time is over, and I know that I'll be woken by somebody who needs me for something she thinks is very important.

Today Dutch told me that she doesn't like school; she explained that she just wishes she could be with her family all day. She doesn't want us there all the time, just when she needs her mom. I told her that I think that when you boil down this whole "growing up" business, it pretty much just comes to learning how to be mom to yourself.

So maybe being somebody's mom, for me, also means having less time and mental space to be mom to myself. Between 8 and 11 PM, I try to catch up on that.

* By which I mean 11ish, usually. That may not sound late to you, but in that case, you probably have either no kids, grown kids, or kids whom you've trained better than I've trained mine.

**Not that I'm known for my willpower. I can't find the willpower to give up anything I like, from ancient socks to any sort of food that's bad for me.

***Other than unemployable and exhausted, which aren't exactly adjectives anybody hopes to earn from any kind of yearbook.

This is Dutch in one of her new outfits, feeling very mature and proud of herself.

This is Cook and Skipper (and Dutch, buried deep in the bed on the other side of Cook), reading while feeling awful on Friday afternoon.

This is the view in our driveway this evening.

Family is down!

Send help! No, actually, don't. We're fine. But we've all got some kind of nasty cold/fever virus, and what with Skipper's DTAP vaccination today, Cook's gum surgery yesterday, and a generalized sleep deficit, we're all pretty under the weather.*

After her appointment today, I can tell you officially that Skipper hates doctors. (She's been to a dentist, optometrist, and pediatrician in the last month, and all of the visits have gone quite poorly.** I can also officially tell you that she's officially smaller than average. She weighs half a pound more at 24 months than Dutch did at 18 months. She's healthy and thriving, though, and only screamed for seven-eighths of the appointment, which I considered a tremendous success. All afternoon she was going up to strangers and saying, apropos of nothing, "Me went doctor! Me got SHOT!!!"

*Though I feel pretty under the weather ALL THE TIME, what with the weather being evil. EVIL! Today I left the house at 8:20 AM, with Skipper in the Ergo. I schlepped the kids to school (.6 miles), dropped Dutch off and proceeded with Skipper to the doctor's office (2 minutes walking, 5 minutes on bus, 3 minutes walking). After her appointment, we took one bus, waited 20 minutes for the next, took that bus, went to the library, walked (.4 miles) to the grocery store, shopped, and then walked (.8 miles) home. We got home at 12:30. I walked only maybe two miles total, but I had Skipper lashed to me (plus groceries and library books) and it rained THE WHOLE &#*@_%^* TIME!!!!!!! I felt pretty sorry for myself. I (like many other Portlanders) am beginning to feel pretty wild-eyed and desperate about the endless rain.

**Behaviorally, not medically, I mean. Medically, we're good, though the eye doctor and the dentist both opined that it looks like she's going the same direction as her sister, so we will be buying braces and glasses for BOTH girls.

The news

I can't remember if Dutch was this awful when she was two. Skipper is just... awful. Scenes of inconsolable misery unfold every day, often following this template: "Me want dis! Me not want dis! Me DO! No! Me not want dis! Me WANT DIS!!!" and tears. She wants to do everything herself, but she can't, of course, because she's still very new and mostly incompetent, and then she gets furious. She constantly whines for the parent other than the one tending her at the moment. She hates it when we fail to read her mind. She tries to boss everyone around, and flies into a rage if we don't do as she commands. She's like Donald Trump in striped pants. She's AWFUL. She's also awfully adorable, which has got to be an evolutionary trick to prevent us from murdering her, because she gets pretty close to it anyway.

Apparently I've been saying "Skipper! Jesus God Almighty!" pretty frequently, because Dutch has now picked it up. Also the parental classic "Skipper! I have HAD ENOUGH!!!!"*

Anyway, I've had enough. If you'd like to take care of an incredibly two-ish two-year-old for a few weeks, let me know. We have a lot of boxes around here.

In other news, it's raining (still! again!!!) and Cook had gum graft surgery today.** He's limited to squishy foods for a few days, and his mouth hurts, but the surgery outcome that's bothering him most is that he has a bandaid stuck to the roof of his mouth, and it's driving him crazy. Just thinking of having a bandaid stuck to the roof of my mouth makes me feel uncomfortable, so I'm sympathetic. Also, he's not allowed to get his heart-rate up for a few days. No listening to the news!

*Has this ever in the history of parenting actually been effective in making the child stop being horrible? I mean, without walloping the kid while yelling at them.

**Bless you, health benefits. Bless you!!!

Seeking... bright... side..

I just went to a meeting at Dutch's school about the process for the 2011-2012 budget, and it was SO FREAKING DEPRESSING. Holy cow. The best possible scenario* involves cutting 1 to 2.5 FTE and the worst is more like 3 to 7 FTE. It's just brutal.

I think the reason I feel so bad about it isn't just that my kid is getting a not-so-great education,** it's that it's all of a piece with my feelings about the way the whole country is going. I absolutely hate that GE pays (pretty much) no taxes and kids in public school get no PE, no art, no music, crappy food, etc. Don't even get me started on Paul Ryan.

Anyway, it was terrible. I felt like crying. Dutch, however, got to watch a movie and eat pizza in a classroom while I was being tortured in the gym, and she had a great time. When we left, I told her that her school didn't have enough money, and she said excitedly "Well, we could give them some! We could give them, like, a HUNDRED dollars!"

*In which a bond and a levy both pass in mid-May. Because communities around the nation are really, really pro-government and pro-tax these days...

** Because my privileged kids are not going to be the ones who are most affected by this.

More new dresses!

Spies.

Dutch is reading over my shoulder as I type this. Things are getting dangerous around here - we can't leave books/magazines/notes/etc. lying around unless we want to explain them to a 6-year-old. Leaving aside stuff that's risque in any way (oh, Susan Elizabeth Phillips - to the high shelves you must go!), there's plenty of printed matter out there that I just don't want to be interrogated about.

Right, Dutch?

Like... war. Or... natural disasters. Or... the role of women in Hollywood. Or... death. Or... birth. Or... marriage. Or... well, really anything that requires more than a few sentences of discussion. Which kind of means everything interesting. Damnit, we need a professional tutor on hand.

Right, Dutch? It's time for you to go to bed now. GO TO BED!!!

Metaphor, and some helpful feedback on my BMI

Today I had to move some of the wild strawberry plants I put in a few weeks ago, because the soil was too clay-y where I'd put them, and they were sitting in a puddle way too much of the time. I lifted the poor things and looked at their sad, soggy roots, and I couldn't help but feel that I am also suffering from wet roots.

Damnit, BRING ME THE SUNSHINE!! I suspect that it's going to rain until July, and then it's going to be 95 degrees hot for two months, and then it'll start raining again. Bah!

Otherwise, no news. Except that Skipper asked to nap on my chest today and I told her she couldn't, because she's getting so big and she'd squish me. She said "Mama already squishy!"

So... maybe I shouldn't have eaten so many jelly beans.

Flowers

The weather has finally cheered up a bit. Just a bit. Friday was absolutely gorgeous, but we spent much of the day going to, attending, and returning from Skipper's 10-minute dental appointment. (She screamed. Nobody was surprised. Afterward, she staggered out into the waiting room and said in a surprised way "Me okay!") Some gardening happened, though,

and lots of basking in the sunshine. Today it wasn't so beautiful, but it didn't rain at all. We'll take it. We also received our second Easter package full of clothes and fun stuff. We found out that Skipper really, really, really likes jelly beans.

Dutch has spent much of the weekend hanging out next-door, where they've been having a yard sale. She adores Mrs. Neighbor, who is endlessly patient and kind with her, and she loves the rabbits who live there, too.

We went to the playground as a grand finale to the day. Skipper rode her pedal-less tricycle thingy, and Dutch rode her bike. Because, you know, she can ride a bike.

Happy Spring!

New Glasses!

Hey! Did you notice Dutch's new glasses? Her prescription changed (for the better! Yay!) and so she got to get a new look!

Another list

This is what we've planted:

alyssum (as pictured above - Dutch is in charge of them)

strawberry plants (wild and domesticated)

chives

arugula

mustard

kale (plants and seeds)

chard

lettuce

peas

vetch

carrots

calendula

parsley

blueberry plants

salmonberry plant

We've also planted some stuff inside - bell peppers, lupines, sage, and hollyhocks. We're awaiting delivery of four more plants - evergreen huckleberry, kinnikinnick, thimbleberry and another blueberry plant that we don't really have space for but that I couldn't resist buying.

Cook and I have clipped heaps of deadwood out of the inside of our front-yard shrubs. We've weeded. We've dug in a cubic yard of purchased compost, regular deliveries of rabbit poop from next door, and coffee grounds from the coffee shop across the street. We've limed. We've picked and murdered many, many slugs. We've mulched. We've buried half our lawn under cardboard, mulch, and new garden beds. Dutch has mowed the remaining lawn with our new reel mower. Today Dutch and I made slug traps using yogurt containers and very cheap beer. We haven't watered much, but that's because there's been plenty of naturally-occurring watering. I'm beginning to worry, though - the seeds we planted in one corner of the garden had a really low germination rate. I hope my dreams of greens all summer long will come true!

Spring is springing

The sun came out! Dutch has been scootering her school commute.

A bitter battle over bubbles:

And this is my all-time favorite picture of Skipper.*

*I also love that the concrete, the laundry, the ragged lawn, the random bits of metal, the too-big shirt, the crusty face, etc., all make it look like a photo from an article about something sad and poverty-related, like the toll meth takes on American families. I swear we feed and clothe her. We DO. And the WHOLE yard doesn't look like that. It DOESN'T!

Houseguests

Have you had house guests who stayed three weeks? IF you did, I bet they didn't do this:

1. Organize the basement and garage
2. Overhaul two large built-in cabinets (including scraping off old wallpaper, puttying/spackling/whatever all the holes and cracks, priming, painting, cleaning hardware, etc.)
3. Remove an old TV antenna from the roof
4. Build and install a new chimney cap
5. Install a motion sensor light on the garage
6. Remove and close up the mail slot and install a new mailbox
7. Weatherstrip the back door
8. Replace a showerhead
9. Replace a bathroom fan
10. Install a towel rack
11. Install new baseboards in the kitchen (and scrap and sand off the residue from the old brown vinyl baseboard)
12. Replace the thermostat
13. Clean or replace all the switchplates
14. Correct the basement bathroom venting (this involved cutting a hole in the side of the house)
15. Seal the bottoms of two overhanging parts of the house (this involved removing the existing "sealing" of multiple empty large plastic bags that formerly held steer manure)
16. Make 5 thousand trips to various hardware stores to find all the materials to do the above (and one trip into a dumpster to retrieve some nice plywood)
17. Umpteen other pesky things you wouldn't have gotten around to for at least five years, if ever.

We had houseguests. That's what they did. Also, they did some pinch-hitting baby-sitting, played with the kids, did lots of dishes, and were generally helpful and pleasant to have around. We miss them.