Today

Starting

Today as I was walking home from the bus stop, I felt happy. I was walking down a quiet residential street, and the sun was shining and the light had that golden clear slanty fall look to it, and it was pleasantly warm but the air felt fresh and alive. I had gotten a lot done at work, and I was looking forward to ordering pizza from our kind-of-awesome local pizza cart.* I was planning to make these for dessert. It was a lovely moment. I'm feeling so relieved now that Cook has heroically pinned down a Real Job, and it makes me much more open to moments of ordinary happiness.

Then everything unfolded as planned, and the evening continued to be delightful. Dutch is taking swim lessons 6:30 to 7 every night, and staggers in the door chlorine-y and exhausted, and it's kind of adorable.

*They give DISCOUNTS to people who don't drive to the cart. Tell me that's not awesome.Yeah, I didn't think you could.

Everything is fluxy.

Lots of things have happened this month. We moved. We bought a bed. I discovered a new favorite Wilson.* Skipper finally started regularly calling me "mama" and also started regularly waking up at 4:45 AM. I almost got a job. Cook DID get a job. A REAL JOB! Okay, it's only for two years, it's not terribly well-paid, and it's not exactly... well... interesting. But we don't care. (I especially don't care. I have happily consigned Cook to two years of deep tedium without a single pang of sympathy.) We will have HEALTH INSURANCE! Real, honest-to-goodness health insurance, the kind that actually pays for stuff! DENTAL insurance!!!!!

In the next three weeks, Skipper will start at a new daycare. (I'm feeling queasy about this. She hates change, our girl.) Dutch will start kindergarten.* I will start working more hours. We're on the move.


* I know. I KNOW. I can't explain it. I've always wanted to own a copy of Shanghai Noon.

*We, along with all the other families, have to supply classroom supplies such as paints and 24 glue sticks, for the whole class to use, because they have no money for supplies. Also, they're cutting all the language classes. The letter from the principal brags, however, that this year they have a FULL-TIME PE teacher! Yay! But... what the hell is a "PeeChee" folder, and why does Dutch need one?

The tools in the shed may be blunter than we thought..

I was sitting at the computer earlier today, vaguely aware of Skipper rattling around the living room behind me. My special, always-alert (but not TOO alert) Parenting level of consciousness had the impression that she was entertaining herself in some not-too-dangerous way, and did not need immediate attention. Suddenly, she slammed fairly hard into the back of my chair, and I heard her thump to the floor behind me. I turned around to find her sitting down, apparently confused, possibly stunned, but not crying, with a pair of Dutch's shorts pulled snugly over her head. I leaned over and pulled the shorts up so I could see her face (and the big red mark on her forehead where she had hit the chair). She looked up at me with an expression of indignation, pulled the shorts back down over her face, got up, and started trundling away blindly. I grabbed her before she could slam into the doorframe, and tried again to pull off the shorts. She pulled them back down. I confiscated them. Dutch reported helpfully that Skipper had been blundering all over the place in her makeshift blindfold for five minutes before she ran into me.

Breakfast, captured in real time.

Skipper has taken to waking up at 5 AM. Yesterday it was my turn to get up with her. I was so addled from lack of sleep that I decided she was just so adorable, seriously addressing her breakfast and carefully deploying her spoon (okay, occasionally) and her handled cup, that I had to film her. Here, for your viewing enjoyment,* are about 15 minutes of breakfast.

*When you start watching, you may think "oh, that's kind of cute. I look forward to the part that's interesting!" And then you'll realize that there is no part like that. It's just Skipper eating her breakfast. It's okay not to watch.

Radio Flyer

They lived on the edge of town...

Dutch asked me to film her rendition of the story of the shoemaker and the elves. She is apparently seeking internet fame and fortune - she loves the idea that strangers can watch her on film. This is not creepy to her, I guess.

Spinning

Flaws

Being an adult is just too hard. Are there really people who can do this well? I think they should take me on as a charitable project; they could make sure my bills get paid, and track down and move my money in that state retirement fund somewhere in Massachusetts, find me some excellent and affordable childcare, dust the blinds, and do all of the other nine thousand things grown-ups are supposed to do. I've got my hands full just showing up every day.

Photo evidence

Dutch had a wonderful time on her camping trip last week. She was a little apprehensive beforehand, what with her fear of homesickness and wolves, but it sounds like it was all good. Except the part where she fell down and bruised her butt on a rock. That part was bad.

I love this picture. It looks like she's determinedly paddling away in her Barbie life jacket, heading for the distant hills.

We moved.

It was crappy, despite enormous help from the Big Cooks.* We're all exhausted and pretty frayed around the edges. Poor Skipper is not happy, and now when she sees us move anything larger than herself - box, bag, furniture, whatever - she starts screaming. You can almost hear her brain: "Noooo!!!! Don't change ANYTHING ELSE!!!!! No more change!" I kind of agree.

Things are starting to stabilize. We spent an exorbitant amount of money on a new bed (we've been sleeping on our sad old full-sized futon for 10 months), which will be delivered today. I'm pretty sure that's going to change my life.

Dutch had a terrific two-day camping trip (overlapping with the move) last week with my uncle and aunt. She feels very grown-up, and she had a great time - I'll post some pictures later.








*Who booked tickets for a fun short visit to Portland before we scheduled our move to fall exactly during their stay. They may never visit again.

Daydreams

I kind of love this. What a great way to spend your baby's naptime.

We'll probably be totally offline (phone and internet) from Thursday until Tuesday, thanks to moving and the vagaries of internet provision. Have a nice week!

Phonephobic

I have a friend with whom I exchange emails almost daily. She expressed recently that she feels like she should call me, since I'm at such a bleak point in my life, but since "both of us hate the phone" she hesitates to do that. She's right. I hate talking on the phone. I just did a brief Google of my problem, and apparently I'm not alone. (Wikipedia helpfully informs me that it may be a sign of bipolar disorder.) I like talking to people face-to-face. I even enjoy public speaking - I like being the center of attention. I have no problem calling businesses. But calling people I actually know is really hard for me, and I don't know why. The internets indicate that this kind of phobia is often basically a fear of rejection, which I guess could be true. I find it really uncomfortable to talk to people without the visual and physical cues of a face-to-face conversation. And I REALLY loathe talking to people when either of us are on a cellphone, especially when either of us are doing other things at the same time, with background noise and distractions galore.