The Gastroenteritis That WOULD NOT GO AWAY

Skipper started barfing again this morning, almost two weeks after her first barfing episode, and ten days after her last barfing episode. We are not happy campers.

*****Squeamish people, stop reading RIGHT NOW.*****

Skipper hates barfing so much that she tries desperately not to, even up to the point of actually swallowing her vomit. While this generally means less cleanup, and I don't think it's harmful to her, it's completely appalling to witness, and I'd actually prefer the cleanup. I say "It's okay, honey, just let it out," and she screams "NOOOOOOOO!!!!!" and her whole body gets stiff with the conflict between the urge to barf and the urge not to barf, and... ew.

Anyway. Cook bought some bleach (something we've never used in this household, preferring to stick with dingy clothing and household cleaning with vinegar), but I feel like a virus that lasts two weeks and causes this much misery probably demands some bigger guns. I don't know what, though. Maybe we should leave the house for a week and have it steam-cleaned.

Money, verbing, pink things, and tomatoes

In light of our Austerity Budget, and my stay-at-home status three days a week, I've been poking around in the recesses of the part of the internet dedicated to saving money. I have learned a lot. I subscribed to a blog devoted to Frugal Living, which includes posts several times a day about deals you can get at Walgreens or Safeway or whatever. Many of these deals require something called "couponing" which is something I don't really think should be a verb. Couponing apparently requires not only obsessive pursuit of newspaper inserts and store flyers, but also making multiple small transactions (due to restrictions on the coupons). Couponers (is this language weirdness making you as uncomfortable as it makes me?) will go to a store, buy three things, then go back around and get in line again to buy four more things, then go to another store and buy two things, etc. The author has been posting a bit about how she manages the logistics of this, and it involves a LOT of time and driving* and stockpiling of random crap. And a lot of the things you can buy with these deals are kind of ... well... gross. There aren't a lot of coupons for fresh produce, for example, or bulk bulghur or stuff like that. There are a lot of great deals on Shampoo That's Full of Nasty Chemicals or on Snacks That Are Full of White Flour And Chemicals. I think the creepiest thing about it, though, is that it's not about saving money. It's about buying stuff, for cheap. You would save more money by replacing your shampoo with baking soda. It's not about thrift at all - it's about consumption, and the thrill of the consumption hunt.**

So... I'm not going to become a couponer. I have bought some things, though, like maple syrup, off tips from that blog. And I have signed up for Groupon. And Ebates. I am trying not to define myself by what I buy. I think I need a hobby (other than worrying about my tomato plants).

I am reading*** a book called Cinderella Ate My Daughter, which is about the whole girlie-girl/princess/pretty thing and how it's ... um... eating our daughters. It's a sort of a long-form blog, so it's not exactly introducing new research or ideas, but it's a nice mulling-over of some of the stuff that all the parents of girls I know are wrestling with. ****

My tomatoes are still alive! I am following a rigorous schedule of bringing the three mobile ones inside the garage and wrapping the three immobile ones in plastic in the evening, and liberating them all in the morning. Hopefully, my efforts will pay off with actual tomatoes, maybe in early September, but I have doubts. Portland is not prime tomato-growing territory, even when the spring isn't greyer, colder, and wetter than usual.

*Which, given my job and my personal feelings, is a little upsetting. I spend a lot of time myself trying to encourage people to consolidate their trips in order to reduce driving, and the idea of pursuing a behavior that makes you drive MORE just seems crazy to me.

** Also, all the couponing/frugality blogs I've come across have emphasized to a creepy extent the importance of making your husband happy. One thrifty lady specifically mentioned that she buys a specific snack for her husband that he likes, and NOBODY ELSE CAN HAVE ANY. She doesn't buy treats for the rest of the family. He gets privileges he is the man, and he is supporting the family, and it is her job to make him happy. Another one specifically identified that her housekeeping goal is to make her husband happy, because it is his home that she is making.

*** Dear Multnomah County Library, I love you SO MUCH!!! I want to MARRY YOU!!!!!!! OMG, I LOOOOOOOOVE YOU!!!!!!!

**** I signed Dutch up for the following activities over the next four months: T-ball, soccer, swimming, and "Outdoor Living" day camp. This is nice and gender-neutral, but after reading half of this book, I think I need to find a good engineering day camp for her, too.

me, again!

Hi!

Hey, it was sunny here today! It was SEVENTY DEGREES here! Eat that, Disneyland!

My tomatoes are still alive. I wrapped them in plastic tonight, though.

Also, I got up early this morning. Holy cow, am I tired.

So, to summarize: still tired, better weather, still worried.

Sleep tight!

keeping the ball rolling

I've fallen out of the habit of posting on this blog, for lots of reasons,* and I'm going to try to post more. No, not better. Just MORE. You're welcome.

So... here is your tedious tidbit for today!

Today: Dutch barfed her breakfast right back up immediately after its intake. That was a bummer. She stayed home from school, and she even threw up again in the early afternoon, but she otherwise felt totally fine, so we think what's happening is that her poor stomach is so ravaged by the Saturday barf-a-thon that it's still working on repopulating its flora and fauna in order to handle normal food. And I really, really hope she doesn't barf any more.

Also today: I picked up my PTA-fundraiser tomato seedlings from the school (yes, even though Dutch wasn't in attendance), and transplanted three of them, in spite of my serious skepticism that they'll survive. Now I have more things to worry about.

That's the news. We're all settled back into normal life, except Barf Girl, who really enjoyed her one day back at school yesterday, and yearns to get back to it. Keep your fingers crossed for warm nights here, and lots of sunshine! And no barfing.

*I am so tired. SO TIRED. That's a big one. And I don't seem to have anything to say that's interesting even to me.

I'm back.

This week has been hectic. Skipper got a stomach flu and barfed (and had diarrhea) erratically for a few days, and then we went to Disneyland. (Cook stayed here so he could work!) We spent two days there with another family, and then we went to my dad's house in L.A. to spend a day and a half there.

So, Disneyland. Disneyland was fun. People really want to be there, and everybody wants to be happy, and so they kind of just are. My dad also pointed out that he and Dutch have a shared childhood experience now, because he went to Disneyland when HE was a kid, and that's pretty cool. I assume Disneyland's awareness of this is why they keep old rides that now seem really hokey. Anyway, it really is just... fun.

I made a major tactical error, and took the kids on Mr Toad's Wild Ride, practically first thing. Of course, Skipper hated it,* and that was pretty much that for her willingness to even try rides. This is a typical sample of what it was like on rides that she DID go on.

(Also, you may have noticed that at the very end of that clip, Dutch is saying "Mom, I'm scared." and I'm ignoring her because I'm trying to make Skipper stop wailing.) I don't really have much in the way of decent movies because of this problem. And I didn't bring the camera because I was trying to pack light. So you'll just have to imagine the experience - mostly Dutch being blissful, and Skipper being confused,** sometimes pissed off, and occasionally completely terrified.

This is the only thing at Disneyland that Skipper really liked. (Note that Dutch was very bored by it.)

Anyway, it went well. Dutch had a wonderful time, I had a pretty good time, and Skipper was confused. Then we went to my dad's house. And then Dutch started throwing up. And she didn't stop. She threw up FIFTEEN times in nineteen hours.*** The poor kid. However, she didn't die of dehydration or sheer misery, finally stopped throwing up last night, and rallied enough to get to the beach this morning before our early-afternoon flight. (Skipper, it turns out, hates dry sand but LOVES the waves, and she briefly reversed her position on wanting to go home.)

And now we're home. Dutch was really great most of the time, and complained very little about anything. (She got extensively lectured in advance about how this was a Big Treat, and she'd better not goddamned whine about anything, and also about how I would need her help because Cook wasn't there.) When we first got to California, while I was wrangling Skipper and figuring out how to get from airport to hotel, she fetched all our baggage off the carousel, without being asked, all by herself. She was helpful and not obnoxious nearly the whole time, and I was proud of her. (Yes, I told her so.)

And now we're HOME! We are all very happy to have Cook back, and to be home, and I'm also happy that nobody in the household is barfing.

*I don't know why anybody thinks that a ride that takes place in the dark, with loud noises and flashing lights, is going to be fun for anyone. As soon as it started, I remembered that I had hated that ride as a kid.

** The first night we spent in the hotel, it took forever to get Skipper to sleep. She kept asking questions about where we were, where Daddy was, did we really have to get on a plane to get back home, etc., and finally she said "dere no animals in here?" and I realized that she really needed me to tell her that this was a safe place to sleep, a place where tigers were not going to eat her, where she could relax her vigilance. Vacations are hard when you're two.

*** We are AWESOME house guests. Doesn't this make you want to invite us over?

Abbreviated Easter report.

Dutch put out a cookie, a hardboiled egg, and a note for the Easter Bunny.

Skipper woke up early, and was so confused by the idea of the Easter egg hunt that she had to throw a tantrum. But nobody barfed! Happy Easter!

Today

Second sunny day IN A ROW!!! Also, dying Easter eggs in our sunny backyard, the extremely-low-tech way. Also, Skipper, completely whiny and floppy due to some sort of barfing bug* which seems to be done now.** Also, Dutch, who is overcome with excitement about the Easter Bunny.

*This was Skipper's first barf ever, and she was understandably appalled and terrified. After the first time, I asked her if she felt like she was going to throw up again, and she said "NO! Me not WANT do dat again!" as if her refusal was going to stop the virus in its tracks.

** for HER, at least. I dread the prospect of all of us getting sick. I took Dutch to get some supplies this morning (pretzels and gingerale), just in case we all get felled at once again, because I do NOT want to repeat the miserable zombie episode of a few months ago.

Not a lot going on...

I'm writing more because I feel that I should than because I have anything to say. Hello! Here's what's going on:

1) The grapes are budding!

2) I went to the dentist. After Dutch's appointment in May, we will all be dentisted up for a while.

3) I came close to getting a job, but didn't. I'm having to take a good hard look at our budget and my job that I don't much enjoy, and I'm realizing that I can't afford to leave this job. I am never going to get another job, so I should probably clutch that bird a little tighter in the hand. Ugh.

4) Cook is being trained to do a different tedious task at work, so now he'll have TWO different tedious tasks to do during his days! Variety is the spice of life!

5) Between Skipper's tantrums and Dutch's histrionics, it feels like a Victorian-era insane asylum around here. Not that we're using straitjackets.

6) That's all. I'll let you know if something interesting happens.

Two

Two years ago today!

Today. This is Skipper preparing to be sung to in the morning.

This is Skipper opening her cards and presents. She was perplexed; she kept saying suspiciously "Dis mine? Dis MY present?" I suspect that because she is a same-gender second kid, she doesn't really believe that anything is hers alone, because almost nothing is.

The sun was out much of the day - Dutch and Skipper had a picnic snack in the yard after school. Please note the variety of colors and patterns they managed to cram together in one photo.

Skipper got carrot cake with creamcheese frosting (no nuts, at her request) after dinner. She wolfed it down with impressive speed.

This is Dutch between bouts of sulking about the unfairness of Skipper getting presents and cake.

I stay up too late

I am very, very tired. I think my sleep deficit is the size of the nation's debt. Every night, I think "I HAVE to go to sleep at a reasonable time tonight."

Every night I stay up too late.* That time after the girls are asleep is so precious that I just can't find the willpower to give it up.** It's the time when I am not defined by my parenting role, and I can cast around a little bit to try to remember who I am.*** When I go to sleep, that time is over, and I know that I'll be woken by somebody who needs me for something she thinks is very important.

Today Dutch told me that she doesn't like school; she explained that she just wishes she could be with her family all day. She doesn't want us there all the time, just when she needs her mom. I told her that I think that when you boil down this whole "growing up" business, it pretty much just comes to learning how to be mom to yourself.

So maybe being somebody's mom, for me, also means having less time and mental space to be mom to myself. Between 8 and 11 PM, I try to catch up on that.

* By which I mean 11ish, usually. That may not sound late to you, but in that case, you probably have either no kids, grown kids, or kids whom you've trained better than I've trained mine.

**Not that I'm known for my willpower. I can't find the willpower to give up anything I like, from ancient socks to any sort of food that's bad for me.

***Other than unemployable and exhausted, which aren't exactly adjectives anybody hopes to earn from any kind of yearbook.

This is Dutch in one of her new outfits, feeling very mature and proud of herself.

This is Cook and Skipper (and Dutch, buried deep in the bed on the other side of Cook), reading while feeling awful on Friday afternoon.

This is the view in our driveway this evening.