Calculated to annoy

Dutch dug out two calculators we had in the back of a desk drawer. They date back to maybe 1992, when Cook and I did some math.* She and Skipper like to play with them - Dutch does very simple math and complains about the calculator's errors.** Skipper pretends it's a phone. This is how she thinks people talk on cellphones: she picks up the calculator, pushes some buttons, holds it to her ear, and yells "HeWOAH!!!!! HEEEEWWWWWOOOAW!!!!!" and then she pauses and says "TAWKING!!!!!"

Dutch and I entertained ourselves (while Cook put Skipper to sleep) imitating her.

*I think I did math. The state of my brain suggests that I might just be imagining that.

**"Mom! It says that 8 minus 8 is zero! That's wrong! 8 minus 8 is 8!"

Popular titles in our household

"Beeg Hongee Behr"

"Behr! Home!"*

"Go Doggo!"

Little House books

*The other books in this series are also very popular.

Sick kid

Dutch has been lying on the couch all day. She has a mild fever, but doesn't seem terribly sick. However, she has not been this limp due to illness since that time she had a fever when she was three and I stayed up all night watching "Charlotte's Web" with her. She's being very fainting-couch/Jane-Austen-character-who-got-caught-in-the-rain about it. It's kind of adorable.

This is how you know we're over-educated Portlanders.

Cook, Skipper and Dutch are doing a performance of The Tempest in our living room while I type this. Also, Skipper can identify sharrows.

A walk in the park

Today Dutch and Cook went to the science museum. (Science!) So I stole Dutch's camera, and took Skipper to the park. Sorry - Dutch's camera, while absolutely perfect for her, is not up to capturing Skipper in motion.

By the way, a waterproof suit is pretty much the most important thing you can have as a child under the age of 10 in the Pacific Northwest. Actually, everyone in the Pacific Northwest should have a waterproof suit.

Report card.

Yesterday I went to Dutch's parent-teacher conference. Dutch is apparently a model student, and the teacher had nothing but good things to say. "Whatever you're doing at home," she said "keep doing it."* She also presented us with a collection of "work samples" that included a fabulous drawing of a pegacorn, a "small moment" story about how happy Dutch was when Skipper was born - "I like my sister. She is fany. She is frenly."** - and an essay on trees - "I like trees. The tree ring shoes how old it is."

I knew she's doing well in school, but it was nice to hear the teacher telling me how pleased she is with Dutch as a student. We can worry about other stuff, instead.

*I consider that this gives me free license to continue doing things like yell "Stop singing that song! It's just pissing me off!"

**The teacher provided this as an example of how sophisticated Dutch is - apparently, a standard-issue AVERAGE kindergartener would just have said that he/she liked his/her sister, without any supporting explication. Of course, standard-issue kindergarteners apparently are not expected to be able to name all six basic shapes yet, and you have to admit that's a little bit sad.

Dutch got a camera for her birthday. Of the following pictures, I took the first two, and she took the rest.

Food

Dutch has always been pretty easy when it comes to food. She's been willing to try new things, and tolerant of a wide variety of tastes and textures. Skipper, however, won't try anything, unless it's virtually identical to something she eats.

This is what she eats at least somewhat reliably:

-milk

-almond and peanut butters

-butter

-bread

-grapes

-bananas

-cereal

-tortillas

-pasta

-cheese (but only cold, not melted)

-nori

-yogurt

-granola

-plain cooked kidney beans

That's it. Notice that there's nothing vegetable in that list, and barely any fruit. Also, notice that it's mostly breakfast. It's causing me some emotional pain; it's sad to try to feed your child food that IS GOOD FOR HER, and have her absolutely point-blank refuse. Yesterday I was so convinced that she would like the mashed sweet potatoes (baked with eggs and maple syrup - what's not to love?) if only she would taste them that I actually smooshed them on her mouth, much to her dismay (and Cook's). I have entirely lost my credibility as a food-provider now. She cried and said "Mama! Push! Mouth! Skipper! Sad!"

The years are just flying by

Last week I had lunch with a high-school classmate I hadn't seen in many, many, many years. Before I left my preceding engagement, I glimpsed myself in the bathroom mirror and thought "Wow, I look really old and tired." On my way to meet her, I briefly walked behind a cute family, and the dad was holding the maybe-3-year-old kid so he was looking back at me over his dad's shoulder. I smiled at him, because he was crazy cute, and he smiled back at me and then he said (and no, I'm NOT making this up) "Grandma, is that you?"

Last call for advent calendar!

If you've got a small thing to send Dutch/Skipper, pop it in the mail! Thanks for the things we've amassed so far! Don't worry about choking hazards - Skipper's pretty good about not eating things.*

Today Dutch acted in a scene in a (student) film! She was very excited. Also, this weekend Taekwondo Uncle notched another degree in his black belt, and we got to watch.** Dutch loved that, too - she got to spend time with some of her favorite grownups, watch TU break bricks and kick people in the head, and admire The Best Baby Ever, who continues to live up to her reputation. And Skipper started peeing in the potty again! It was a great weekend.

It's supposed to snow tonight! I'm preparing for city-wide paralysis.

*Unfortunately, that goes for food as well as inedible things. I'm not sure she's ever intentionally ingested a vegetable.

** My uncle can totally kick your uncle's ass.

Joining the Club

Dutch made a handprint turkey! I told her that she had now joined millions of other Americans in this ritual. We looked around at all the people (well, the ones aged 6 and older) around us on the sidewalk and in their cars and on their bikes and whatnot, as we were walking to school, and I told her that they had probably ALL made handprint turkeys.

I think that's kind of beautiful.

In other news, when asked by the librarian at Dutch's school* which child is mine, I said "Well, she's in Mrs. H's kindergarten class. The tall one? With the glasses? Who never stops talking?" and then at last she said "Ohhh, yes. NOW I know who you're talking about."

*I'm going to do a little volunteer work for her, organizing the books. I'm going to write that again, because it gives me so much pleasure. I'm going to get to organize books.