Procrastination, summa cum laude
I found out yesterday that I have an upcoming exam... tomorrow.
I missed class last week, thanks to Pittsburgh, and somehow had written the exam into my schedule for a later date, so I came perilously close to living out my anxiety nightmare of being totally unprepared for a test. Usually in those dreams I'm not wearing any pants, and (major psychological insight coming up) I'm pants-less because I CHOSE not to wear pants earlier in the dream (for excellent reasons like "hey, this is a really long shirt - who needs pants!") so I'm humiliated as a result of MY OWN BAD DECISION. That's pretty much all my major psychological hangups bundled into one horrible dream.
Anyway, I will still be woefully unprepared for the exam, because this is one of those maddening classes in which I have a good grade, have done most of the reading, turned in all the assignments, and attended most of the classes and actually listened, and yet have learned almost nothing. I am aware that it is my responsibility to maximize my educational experience, and I should have been doing more toward that end, but I think that doing (most of) the required work should get you a little further along the way than it has in this class.
And today I am procrastinating! I have actually been doing schoolwork pretty steadily since Friday morning, but I am incapable of seriously knuckling down to anything for very long, as you know, so I have also washed dishes, wiped the mildew off all our windowsills, done another useless informational interview, applied for a job, baked a cake, and pretended to drive a plane (assembled out of our kitchen chairs). I'm using magical thinking at the moment to sustain the delusion that I'll get an A without actually studying. But I've already laid out my outfit, complete with shirt and pants, for tomorrow, to forestall any potential coverage issues.
I missed class last week, thanks to Pittsburgh, and somehow had written the exam into my schedule for a later date, so I came perilously close to living out my anxiety nightmare of being totally unprepared for a test. Usually in those dreams I'm not wearing any pants, and (major psychological insight coming up) I'm pants-less because I CHOSE not to wear pants earlier in the dream (for excellent reasons like "hey, this is a really long shirt - who needs pants!") so I'm humiliated as a result of MY OWN BAD DECISION. That's pretty much all my major psychological hangups bundled into one horrible dream.
Anyway, I will still be woefully unprepared for the exam, because this is one of those maddening classes in which I have a good grade, have done most of the reading, turned in all the assignments, and attended most of the classes and actually listened, and yet have learned almost nothing. I am aware that it is my responsibility to maximize my educational experience, and I should have been doing more toward that end, but I think that doing (most of) the required work should get you a little further along the way than it has in this class.
And today I am procrastinating! I have actually been doing schoolwork pretty steadily since Friday morning, but I am incapable of seriously knuckling down to anything for very long, as you know, so I have also washed dishes, wiped the mildew off all our windowsills, done another useless informational interview, applied for a job, baked a cake, and pretended to drive a plane (assembled out of our kitchen chairs). I'm using magical thinking at the moment to sustain the delusion that I'll get an A without actually studying. But I've already laid out my outfit, complete with shirt and pants, for tomorrow, to forestall any potential coverage issues.
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