Family, Music, Late Nights, Mortality. Etcetera.
Last night after class I went to a club. This is a shockingly out-of-character thing for me to do, which I did because my brother's band was playing. I had a really good time, which was also kind of shocking. Not that I don't love my brother (I do) and not that I don't enjoy his company (I do), but I have always been in many ways a boring old lady, and lurking around a venue late at night with musicians drinking beer and smoking cigarettes, and then listening to loud music, isn't exactly my cup of tea. A cup of tea, actually, is my cup of tea. Also listening to quiet music.
But I did have fun. I really enjoyed seeing my brother. I had a lot of thoughts while talking to him and then watching him perform... I'm too braindead (as usual, these days) to put them together with any kind of coherence. None of these thoughts were new, but they were still nice to review.
1) He's getting old. He looks like a grownup now, and all his bandmates do too.
2) He's been playing in bands for a decade.
3) He's really good at the whole thing - the music part, the social part, the management part, and all the other parts I don't know about. If I had thought about it when he was five and determinedly practicing his breakdancing moves in the living room, I would have realized then that he would be really good at the whole thing. He's pursued this career with impressive commitment and competence.
4) We're totally different people (with different cups of tea), and that's not only okay, it's really good. I'm glad I have him.
5) When he's concentrating, he looks an awful lot like Dutch when she's concentrating. I think it's something about the mouth.
These thoughts all, of course, led to many thoughts about ME, because that's what I mostly think about. My aging, my mortality, my career (and lack thereof), my choices, my family plans, etc.
Anyway, I really enjoyed it. I tagged around with him for a while (and learned that musicians on tour are dreadfully boring, just like everybody at work, and mostly smoke, talk about where they've been on tour, try to remember if that venue with the weird bar was at the show in Albuquerque or Denver, and strive to procure food and drink, including tea, which one guy brewed using a little electric kettle he takes on tour), and then I watched his set. I stood in the audience (I got a lot of weird looks, since I was alone and dressed in my very best frumpy semi-professional outfit, due to a meeting earlier in the day) and felt terribly excited and proud of him, like a weird cross between a parent and a groupie. My brother, the rock star.
Cook stayed home and put the kid to bed while I was out frivolously enjoying getting out of my rut, seeing my brother, and contemplating life. But I got him a t-shirt.
But I did have fun. I really enjoyed seeing my brother. I had a lot of thoughts while talking to him and then watching him perform... I'm too braindead (as usual, these days) to put them together with any kind of coherence. None of these thoughts were new, but they were still nice to review.
1) He's getting old. He looks like a grownup now, and all his bandmates do too.
2) He's been playing in bands for a decade.
3) He's really good at the whole thing - the music part, the social part, the management part, and all the other parts I don't know about. If I had thought about it when he was five and determinedly practicing his breakdancing moves in the living room, I would have realized then that he would be really good at the whole thing. He's pursued this career with impressive commitment and competence.
4) We're totally different people (with different cups of tea), and that's not only okay, it's really good. I'm glad I have him.
5) When he's concentrating, he looks an awful lot like Dutch when she's concentrating. I think it's something about the mouth.
These thoughts all, of course, led to many thoughts about ME, because that's what I mostly think about. My aging, my mortality, my career (and lack thereof), my choices, my family plans, etc.
Anyway, I really enjoyed it. I tagged around with him for a while (and learned that musicians on tour are dreadfully boring, just like everybody at work, and mostly smoke, talk about where they've been on tour, try to remember if that venue with the weird bar was at the show in Albuquerque or Denver, and strive to procure food and drink, including tea, which one guy brewed using a little electric kettle he takes on tour), and then I watched his set. I stood in the audience (I got a lot of weird looks, since I was alone and dressed in my very best frumpy semi-professional outfit, due to a meeting earlier in the day) and felt terribly excited and proud of him, like a weird cross between a parent and a groupie. My brother, the rock star.
Cook stayed home and put the kid to bed while I was out frivolously enjoying getting out of my rut, seeing my brother, and contemplating life. But I got him a t-shirt.
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