Sunday, May 29, 2016


This is how we spend our weekend mornings, whenever possible: on the couch, with books/tablets. Skipper sits in her Safe Place.

Duchess and Skipper have been horseback riding the last two weekends, preparing for Duchess's horse camp adventure this summer. Duchess loves it a LOT. (Skipper likes it fine, but is mostly interested just in making sure that Duchess doesn't get away with an extra privilege/treat.) Duchess is currently trying to figure out how she can continue to do kung fu twice a week. dorks-in-the-woods all weekend once a month, and dorks-in-the-fort all Saturday once a month AND do ultimate frisbee twice a week and horseback riding as often as possible. She is aware there isn't enough money, time, and/or parental goodwill to support her dream extracurricular life. But she's still wishing.

Friday, May 13, 2016

You guys, there are four weeks of school left.


It looks like I may be employed through the end of year. This does not make me as miserable as it would have a few weeks ago. Things are less painful right now. (Though I have a few brutal dates coming up in the next month, and expect to be roundly criticized in public. I'm thinking I may want to get Botox injections.) And, hey, earning money is good! Right?

However, this means I will probably not be home for summer. Duchess will, though (except for two much-anticipated weeks of overnight camps - one week of horse camp and one week of dorks-in-the-woods camp), and will be spend the summer weekdays swimming every morning for an hour and then lying on the couch reading for eight hours. I signed Skipper up for a lot of the same camp, because she hates doing new camps every week. She's pretty ticked that SHE doesn't get to lie on the couch. (She is currently deeply, deeply immersed in Harry Potter.)

That's all. Same dull news, same dull place!

Tuesday, May 10, 2016

Oni no pantsu

Yesterday evening I biked the girls to the science museum for Duchess's science fair and school "family night" at the museum. Items of note:
1) The girls biked competently and without complaining. Hurrah!
2) Duchess executed, with a partner, a passably mediocre science fair project in which Cook and I did not participate at all (except to take her to her partner's home a couple of times). This is pretty reassuring - I think she'll survive middle school. And I think Cook and I will also survive middle school. Hurrah!
3) Because there were so few people in the museum, and it was much less hectic and overwhelming than usual (and she didn't feel observed),  Skipper was able to actually got to do some of the activities, like design a "wind sculpture." It was fun to see her actually DOING stuff and trying things, instead of standing aside watching while other people do things.
4) We stopped by the river and watched a dragon boat go by. Duchess said "That looks fun! I want to do that! Mom, can I do that?"
4) We had a lovely ride home, in the late evening sunshine, with no whining or complaining. Duchess spent most of the ride composing sentimental haiku, and Skipper spent most of the ride singing a Japanese song about a demon's pants. It was really enjoyable, and I tried to soak it up as much as possible.

Sunday, May 8, 2016


Skipper is singing (over and over again) a chant that goes like this:
Who likes snot?
The kids, particularly Skipper, are driving me bats today.  Skipper works SO hard to continually monitor the way all good and bad things are allocated to her and her sister and over-react to any perceived imbalance, however slight. If she channeled even half that energy into, say, a hobby, she'd be a master of that hobby by now. I guess she IS a master of this one terrible hobby.

What's up with us? Not much. I'm fine. Cook's fine. Kids are fine.

I have been driving lately, after about 15 years of not driving. Driving sucks. I can't wait for the self-driving cars to take over; I cannot believe that we let humans drive cars. I think it's be the kind of thing where Skipper will look back over her childhood 50 years from now and says to Duchess "Can you BELIEVE that PEOPLE were responsible for navigating huge, heavy, polluting metal vehicles at high speed when we were kids? That was insane! Also, did that drone just give you an infinitesimally bigger serving of virtual dessert than me? That's NOT FAIR!!!!"

I am still Eating Less. Eating Less sucks. However, I weigh 20% less now than I did two years ago, and am warily pleased. I am unambiguously pleased to report, however, that I am also 14 days into a series of 30 days of youtube yoga videos, and am very much enjoying it. It's gentle yoga for inflexible idiots, which is perfect, and it's short, only 15-35 minutes per video, so I just do it in the evening before bed, and I usually wrap it up with a few minutes of lying on the floor staring at the ceiling. This is not the kind of yogic Mindfully Breathing While Being Present In Your Body lying on the floor you may be thinking of; I literally just lie on the floor and stare at the ceiling. Sometimes I listen to music. It's pretty great, even without mindfulness.

Also, I want to say that I misreported a few weeks ago what Skipper says to express astonishment. She doesn't say "holy crackers!" - she says "holy cackles!"

That's all I've got.