Raising average children.
I recently read an article that reminded me of an ongoing conversation I've been having with a friend about extracurriculars and parenting. The conversation has prompted me to officially announce that my kids are ordinary kids, and that my expectations for their future do not include anything out of the ordinary.* My goal for both my kids is for them to be reasonably decent, reasonably happy people. Leaving aside my fears that the world of their adulthood will not be a place that allows people to achieve that goal, I'm feeling good about what we're doing to support their vigorous ordinary-ness. Maybe I should offer a class - "Ignoring Your Children... It's For Their Own Good!"
Also, I'm working on making them less American. I read part of a short review article about parenting and independence out loud to Duchess the other day, and since then I've said "Duchess! Be French!" about twenty times. The article says, more or less, that American kids are more dependent and less capable than other kids from a variety of other cultures, and it specifically cites a French 3-year-old making cupcakes by herself. While I'm skeptical that the 3-year-old in question was, for example, actually removing a tray full of cupcakes from a hot full-sized oven by him/herself (and if he/she was, I have some concerns), I get the point. Duchess regularly asks me to do things that she could do herself. I try not to do those things for her, but it is so much more work to get her to do them that I often take the easy option and just make the sandwich myself. So I'm trying to do that less. Luckily, she's going to a week of sleep-away camp in just a few weeks, which I'm using as a lever to muscle her into mastering some skills she should have nailed down by now, and is going to need, like shampooing her own hair.**
Hey, you notice that I'm writing this on a weekday morning? The kids are still asleep at 8 AM, after staying up insanely late to watch fireworks.*** When they get up, I'll have them make me brunch!
*Except for Duchess's extraordinary height, I should say.
**She does shower by herself, and wash everything except her hair on her own. We're not THAT bad.
*** We had a lovely Fourth of July, by the way. The weather was idyllic, the kids were decent, we ate ice cream, nobody exploded. Perfect.
Also, I'm working on making them less American. I read part of a short review article about parenting and independence out loud to Duchess the other day, and since then I've said "Duchess! Be French!" about twenty times. The article says, more or less, that American kids are more dependent and less capable than other kids from a variety of other cultures, and it specifically cites a French 3-year-old making cupcakes by herself. While I'm skeptical that the 3-year-old in question was, for example, actually removing a tray full of cupcakes from a hot full-sized oven by him/herself (and if he/she was, I have some concerns), I get the point. Duchess regularly asks me to do things that she could do herself. I try not to do those things for her, but it is so much more work to get her to do them that I often take the easy option and just make the sandwich myself. So I'm trying to do that less. Luckily, she's going to a week of sleep-away camp in just a few weeks, which I'm using as a lever to muscle her into mastering some skills she should have nailed down by now, and is going to need, like shampooing her own hair.**
Hey, you notice that I'm writing this on a weekday morning? The kids are still asleep at 8 AM, after staying up insanely late to watch fireworks.*** When they get up, I'll have them make me brunch!
*Except for Duchess's extraordinary height, I should say.
**She does shower by herself, and wash everything except her hair on her own. We're not THAT bad.
*** We had a lovely Fourth of July, by the way. The weather was idyllic, the kids were decent, we ate ice cream, nobody exploded. Perfect.
Comments
I am concentrating on living this way right now; I want to create a full, interesting, ordinary life and remember to notice and celebrate the magic in it. Thanks for reminding me!