Executive function, extracurriculars, and more.
We* continue to massively overdo the extracurriculars. This fall, Duchess has gymnastics, swimming, ultimate frisbee, ballet, kung fu, electronics, and Mandarin. (Soccer and piano have fallen by the wayside, as was necessary to make room for all these other things.) Skipper has gymnastics, swimming, and taiko (and will be doing kung fu as part of her afterschool care). These are somewhat staggered in the calendar, the girls take some things at the same time, and some things take place after school, on site, which makes it a little less ridiculous, but we still have a few weeks this fall when Duchess will attend nine extracurricular activities in one week. NINE.
I continue to vacillate over it. The kids enjoy it all, and I see no harm in trying a lot of stuff during one's brief childhood. Nobody (except maybe Duchess, faintly) has any delusions that anybody in our family is going to achieve fame and fortune or really anything** through pursuit of these activities. Everybody is allowed to quit stuff they don't want to do. Neither kid is at all inclined toward independent physical activity, so it seems good to have them engage in structured physical activity rather than lie on the couch all day. I think language is a good thing to learn early in your brain development. I think that sending Duchess off to middle school feeling like she can do dorky electronic things as well as the boys will be a good thing.*** I think that it could be useful that Duchess is learning how to wire a security system, should she choose a life of crime. I think that both my kids are going to need social connections that are not just school-based. I think that giving them a feel for moving through a learning curve and gaining competence is a good thing. But. But here I am dutifully toting my children around the neighborhood to do activities, like the kind of helicopter parent I never thought I would be, not leaving them to play independently and develop character and executive function like they should be, or having them develop competence in life skills rather than ballet.****
Oh well. It's a short window. Soon Duchess will be saying no to everything. (Possibly not. Duchess is a yes person to a degree that may overpower the adolescent instinct for no.) Skipper will probably be saying no to everything even sooner. And almost every one of these activities are located within walking or at least biking distance, so at least I'm not literally chauffeuring them around. So meh, we'll keep it up until we get sick of it, executive function be damned. And they probably won't need executive function when they're part of the matrix, though I imagine it could be valuable in a criminal career.
*By which I mean I, in the role of enabler to Duchess. Cook couldn't care less, though he's usually willing to schlep kids to their things, and Skipper would be perfectly happy, in a world without Duchess, to stay home all the time.
** Though I admit I secretly hope that Duchess will somehow be influenced by her once-a-week parks and rec ballet class to have better posture.
***Ultimate frisbee and electronics both turn out to be extremely boy-heavy environments. Ballet, gymnastics, and swimming are the opposite, however, so it probably balances out.
**** Though while we have long ago dropped the weekly dinner-cooking program, the girls clean the bathroom every weekend. Duchess cleans the toilet, thoroughly and usually without complaint, which I do find mildly impressive.
I continue to vacillate over it. The kids enjoy it all, and I see no harm in trying a lot of stuff during one's brief childhood. Nobody (except maybe Duchess, faintly) has any delusions that anybody in our family is going to achieve fame and fortune or really anything** through pursuit of these activities. Everybody is allowed to quit stuff they don't want to do. Neither kid is at all inclined toward independent physical activity, so it seems good to have them engage in structured physical activity rather than lie on the couch all day. I think language is a good thing to learn early in your brain development. I think that sending Duchess off to middle school feeling like she can do dorky electronic things as well as the boys will be a good thing.*** I think that it could be useful that Duchess is learning how to wire a security system, should she choose a life of crime. I think that both my kids are going to need social connections that are not just school-based. I think that giving them a feel for moving through a learning curve and gaining competence is a good thing. But. But here I am dutifully toting my children around the neighborhood to do activities, like the kind of helicopter parent I never thought I would be, not leaving them to play independently and develop character and executive function like they should be, or having them develop competence in life skills rather than ballet.****
Oh well. It's a short window. Soon Duchess will be saying no to everything. (Possibly not. Duchess is a yes person to a degree that may overpower the adolescent instinct for no.) Skipper will probably be saying no to everything even sooner. And almost every one of these activities are located within walking or at least biking distance, so at least I'm not literally chauffeuring them around. So meh, we'll keep it up until we get sick of it, executive function be damned. And they probably won't need executive function when they're part of the matrix, though I imagine it could be valuable in a criminal career.
*By which I mean I, in the role of enabler to Duchess. Cook couldn't care less, though he's usually willing to schlep kids to their things, and Skipper would be perfectly happy, in a world without Duchess, to stay home all the time.
** Though I admit I secretly hope that Duchess will somehow be influenced by her once-a-week parks and rec ballet class to have better posture.
***Ultimate frisbee and electronics both turn out to be extremely boy-heavy environments. Ballet, gymnastics, and swimming are the opposite, however, so it probably balances out.
**** Though while we have long ago dropped the weekly dinner-cooking program, the girls clean the bathroom every weekend. Duchess cleans the toilet, thoroughly and usually without complaint, which I do find mildly impressive.
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