My new occupation

No, I haven't gotten a job. Well, not one that pays. I have decided to hire myself as an unpaid housekeeper/childcare provider for the spring and summer, in the hopes that if I reject the job-hunting process, I won't feel so eroded by its ongoing rejection of me. I will start looking for jobs again in the fall,* but in the meantime, I'm going to do THIS job right.

I am assisted in this quest by technology, which I'm using to keep me on track while also deploying microrewards, because I don't do stuff unless there's a reward involved, even if it's vanishingly small. For example, today I have used a music app to play me motivational songs, a to-do list app to check off numerous small tasks as I plow through them, a workout app that generates random workouts, and a podcast app that allows me to learn all sorts of interesting things.  I find that, for me,** checking things off lists is a sufficient microreward to keep me going. Brains are weird.

I started things off by downloading a free trial of a housekeeping to-do list app. This taught me what sorts of housekeeping tasks I'm supposed to be doing, and when, and then when the trial expired I just added a bunch of those things to my regular to-do list app. I've been an adult for over 25 years, and I have never before done these tasks on a regular basis, if at all. In the new housekeeping paradigm, I do things on a schedule. I clean the kitchen sink every other day*** even if it doesn't look dirty. In the old housekeeping paradigm, I would clean things when I noticed they were looking/feeling grungy.**** I truly don't think there's anything wrong with that approach, and if I ever get another job or even an interesting hobby, I expect I'll shift to a hybrid of the new and old approaches. But right now, I find that housekeeping chores are working well - they keep me busy,***** make me feel productive, keep me from sitting at the computer melting my brain all day, and I get to reap the rewards of having a (relatively) clean house. That's all good.

On the other hand, the childcare provision part of my job hasn't yet seen any improvements. I haven't found an app that will make me more patient, more generous, and less profane in my parenting. Recently, I shooed the girls outside on a hectic morning to wait for me while I put on my shoes and locked the door so we could go drop Duchess off at school. When I came out, I had the privilege of hearing Skipper say "Jesus CHRIST, Duchess! What the HELL are you doing?!"

Coming up: updates on Skipper, who is four entire years old, as of this morning.


*Of course, if a great job comes up, I'm going to apply for it, housekeeping be damned.
** For NOW
*** One of my small rebellions from the tyrannical housekeeping app, which wanted me to clean the kitchen sink every day. Seriously, what are people DOING with their kitchen sink that they need to wash it that often? (Pro tip: Do not poop in your kitchen sink.) Has nobody heard about the dangers of excessive hygiene? Also, the housekeeping app wanted me to read the bible every day.
**** Unfortunately, my threshold for discomfort with grunge is much higher than Cook's. The poor man. 
***** Because they take freaking forever. Presumably real housekeeping folks use more toxic chemicals and are better at it, because if I did everything I'm supposed to, I would be working from dawn till dusk, and I'm really just not willing to do that. 

Comments

tiffky doofky said…
Happy Birthday Skipper!!

I love this post, your new regimen, and your Pro Tip. Perhaps you could generate more tips in this vein...
Jenny said…
Happy birthday, Skipper!!

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