File under "Things People Commonly Say That Are Funny to Say But Not Actually Very Funny to Experience."

Tonight Dutch accidentally* stabbed Skipper in the eye with a fork. This is something I actually say as an ironically exaggerated figure of speech,** as in "I would rather be stabbed in the eye with a fork than vote for Newt Gingrich" or "OMG watching that preschool talent show was so like stabbing myself in the eye with a fork," and I really never, ever thought that I would experience an actual fork-to-eye-stabbing.**

I think Skipper's okay. She can still see. However, it seems to really hurt. I will be sure to let you know, if it comes to it, what the doctor says when I explain that Skipper was stabbed in the eye with a fork. (Cook's betting on complete composure, because in his experience, doctors have already heard just about every insane injury explanation even the most elaborate episode of Mythbusters could ever devise.)


*Really accidentally. We're pretty sure there wasn't even any subconscious desire to maim - it was a table-setting accident.
** Because I am so witty!
*** Unless society crumbles in the next few decades, which really seems less and less unlikely.