It's been a while.
Hi! I am still here. Nothing of any moment has happened. Nobody's in the hospital. Nobody's job status has changed. All is well-ish.
There are some changes pending. Due to my ongoing failure to secure a job, the kids' childcare has to be revised. Skipper is still enrolled in preschool full-time, but we'll probably roll her back to three days a week pretty soon. Duchess is leaving her beloved after-school kung fu, though we'll probably switch her to the much-cheaper-but-still-expensive evening classes program, so she can keep training to beat people up. She was very upset to be leaving the after-school program (particularly the beautiful-eyes boy who is her best kung fu friend), and wept tragically, but quickly consoled herself with the idea that she'd be able to keep training to beat people up, AND she could write over-the-top farewell notes to all her friends. Opportunities for histrionics (histriopportunities?) are always a comfort to Duchess in times of duress.
The other interesting* thing that happened lately was that Duchess's school did TAG-nominated testing last week. Remember TAG? After I got all angsty about it, Duchess scored below the nomination threshold on the screening test (though she scored respectably well, as you might expect from a bright kid), and I let the whole thing go, being done with my personal drama about it. As usual, just because my personal drama was over didn't mean that it was all over. Last week Duchess came home asking about the test that some kids in her class had been pulled out to take, and what was TAG? "It stands for Talented and Gifted," I said, and she stared at me. "But I'm talented and gifted!" she said, "Why didn't I get to take the test?"
Later that week, I went into Duchess's classroom to drop off forms for this enormous volunteer effort I'm accidentally running (which is why I have no time for blogging), and Duchess's teacher happened to be in there alone, doing paperwork. She said she was glad I came by, because she wanted to talk to me about TAG. She had recognized Duchess's confusion and dismay. She said that because a) Duchess has identified nomination as a marker of success, and b) Duchess is plenty smart (and she did, to my glee, indicate that several kids had been nominated pretty much because of their pushy parents), she would be happy to nominate her for next year's round of testing. I told her we'd ask Duchess. We did, and the conversation(s) revealed that Duchess is weirdly upset and discombobulated by the whole thing. Apparently, she's really clear on her rank academically. She knows exactly who is better than her at what. She knows that she's the strongest reader in the class, and the third-best mathematician. And apparently, all the other kids know the ranks, too, and some of them had been giving her some flak about not being TAG-nominated. Some of the (surprisingly large number of) kids who WERE nominated were kids she considers to be her academic inferiors. She felt embarrassed not to be nominated. (She also seems to be still reeling from the shock of having her academic reign over second grade threatened by the arrival in September of a new kid who is, as far as I can tell, more or less exactly the sort of kid for whom the TAG program was developed in the first place.) Seriously, this is not a scenario I had considered.
She hasn't decided for sure yet, but we've been gently nudging her (and I think she's going along) toward letting it go. I figure if it turns out that the TAG kids (and of course she'll know exactly who they are) are getting some great academic services** that Duchess thinks she could use, we can ask for her to be nominated at that time. And I think it might be better for her not to take the test - taking it and being declared emphatically UN-talented might be more crushing than I'd expected, too.
The life lesson here for me is the one I learn over and over but never remember - that Duchess's life isn't about me. My drama is not her drama. Also, she's pretty great.
*To me.
**Given the state of the budget, I can't imagine what those would be. Extra paper, maybe?
There are some changes pending. Due to my ongoing failure to secure a job, the kids' childcare has to be revised. Skipper is still enrolled in preschool full-time, but we'll probably roll her back to three days a week pretty soon. Duchess is leaving her beloved after-school kung fu, though we'll probably switch her to the much-cheaper-but-still-expensive evening classes program, so she can keep training to beat people up. She was very upset to be leaving the after-school program (particularly the beautiful-eyes boy who is her best kung fu friend), and wept tragically, but quickly consoled herself with the idea that she'd be able to keep training to beat people up, AND she could write over-the-top farewell notes to all her friends. Opportunities for histrionics (histriopportunities?) are always a comfort to Duchess in times of duress.
The other interesting* thing that happened lately was that Duchess's school did TAG-nominated testing last week. Remember TAG? After I got all angsty about it, Duchess scored below the nomination threshold on the screening test (though she scored respectably well, as you might expect from a bright kid), and I let the whole thing go, being done with my personal drama about it. As usual, just because my personal drama was over didn't mean that it was all over. Last week Duchess came home asking about the test that some kids in her class had been pulled out to take, and what was TAG? "It stands for Talented and Gifted," I said, and she stared at me. "But I'm talented and gifted!" she said, "Why didn't I get to take the test?"
Later that week, I went into Duchess's classroom to drop off forms for this enormous volunteer effort I'm accidentally running (which is why I have no time for blogging), and Duchess's teacher happened to be in there alone, doing paperwork. She said she was glad I came by, because she wanted to talk to me about TAG. She had recognized Duchess's confusion and dismay. She said that because a) Duchess has identified nomination as a marker of success, and b) Duchess is plenty smart (and she did, to my glee, indicate that several kids had been nominated pretty much because of their pushy parents), she would be happy to nominate her for next year's round of testing. I told her we'd ask Duchess. We did, and the conversation(s) revealed that Duchess is weirdly upset and discombobulated by the whole thing. Apparently, she's really clear on her rank academically. She knows exactly who is better than her at what. She knows that she's the strongest reader in the class, and the third-best mathematician. And apparently, all the other kids know the ranks, too, and some of them had been giving her some flak about not being TAG-nominated. Some of the (surprisingly large number of) kids who WERE nominated were kids she considers to be her academic inferiors. She felt embarrassed not to be nominated. (She also seems to be still reeling from the shock of having her academic reign over second grade threatened by the arrival in September of a new kid who is, as far as I can tell, more or less exactly the sort of kid for whom the TAG program was developed in the first place.) Seriously, this is not a scenario I had considered.
She hasn't decided for sure yet, but we've been gently nudging her (and I think she's going along) toward letting it go. I figure if it turns out that the TAG kids (and of course she'll know exactly who they are) are getting some great academic services** that Duchess thinks she could use, we can ask for her to be nominated at that time. And I think it might be better for her not to take the test - taking it and being declared emphatically UN-talented might be more crushing than I'd expected, too.
The life lesson here for me is the one I learn over and over but never remember - that Duchess's life isn't about me. My drama is not her drama. Also, she's pretty great.
*To me.
**Given the state of the budget, I can't imagine what those would be. Extra paper, maybe?
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