Squeezing Thoughts
My husband is gone on a trip, and the kid misses him. We've been having an orgy (low-budget-lazy-people-style) in his absence, with lots of snacks and videos. I suggested that we watch a video, because I was tired of thinking (actually I was freaking tired of building three-story fire stations with swimming pools and dentist's offices and ladders and elevators, all out of blocks), and she said "DADDY likes thinking! He squeezes thoughts out of my brain!"
Which rang true for me - daddy DOES like thinking. And he does squeeze thoughts of my brain, though it hurts sometimes. I guess we've turned into one of those couples that uses eachother as reference points, rather than outside friends - having him absent (and largely out of touch) makes me feel a bit unmoored. I don't think that's a great strategy for mental health in the long run, but it seems okay at the moment. Though I also realize how much I depend on him, and should his plane crash on the way home (is it even okay to write that? am I jinxing him? is there some etiquette on writing about theoretical disasters?), I would be utterly unmoored. I apparently need to extend my support system.
My point was, though, that I miss him, too. I also miss the way he pushes me to think a little more. He, like his child, loves to chat, and I spend a fair amount of time only pretending to listen to both of them. When I listen to him, though, I usually get excellent value for my investment, and it makes the rusty cogs of my brain move a little. A little.
Anyway, I look forward to his return, so he can take over the elevator-construction detail. Maybe we can talk about it later.
Which rang true for me - daddy DOES like thinking. And he does squeeze thoughts of my brain, though it hurts sometimes. I guess we've turned into one of those couples that uses eachother as reference points, rather than outside friends - having him absent (and largely out of touch) makes me feel a bit unmoored. I don't think that's a great strategy for mental health in the long run, but it seems okay at the moment. Though I also realize how much I depend on him, and should his plane crash on the way home (is it even okay to write that? am I jinxing him? is there some etiquette on writing about theoretical disasters?), I would be utterly unmoored. I apparently need to extend my support system.
My point was, though, that I miss him, too. I also miss the way he pushes me to think a little more. He, like his child, loves to chat, and I spend a fair amount of time only pretending to listen to both of them. When I listen to him, though, I usually get excellent value for my investment, and it makes the rusty cogs of my brain move a little. A little.
Anyway, I look forward to his return, so he can take over the elevator-construction detail. Maybe we can talk about it later.
Comments
Love,
dandan