Tip me over

A few weeks ago we were all eating icecream (a rare occurrence in Dutch's experience, since she hasn't yet caught on to our habit of eating treats after she goes to bed), and she ate all hers with the deep concentration that I really envy - she is a master of mindfulness. Then she looked up, noted that we were still eating, pushed her bowl away, and announced authoritatively "Mama, my dessert.... um.... left. I need to have some of yours."

Being a fat lady and parenting a girl is kind of scary. I don't want her to be fat. I want her to be thin and fit (particularly since she'll already be socially handicapped by her dreadful haircuts). It seems pretty clear that this is largely genetic, as my brother can eat half of something he thinks is delicious, announce "I'm full!" and leave the rest of it on his plate, while I can't leave a crumb of stale bread on the plate, so I'm not sure what I can do to change anything. But I struggle every day with my feelings about food and my weight, and now I struggle every day with feelings about her weight. I suspect I will handle whatever food issues she may have very poorly. Do I encourage her to feel happy with her body, no matter what? Do I force her to eat watercress? Do I try to pretend to her that I'm happy with my body? Do I make a reservation now for family therapy in a few years?

I probably would be able to postpone all these anxieties, but Dutch (a lean baby who turned into a juggernaut of a toddler) is shaped like the fabled little teapot, and girlish little size-2T pants squeeze painfully around her barrel-belly. It's certainly no predictor of future bodyshape, but it's still distressing to me. Because, of course, her life is ALL ABOUT ME.