The Lollipop Guild requests another story.

Yesterday I made a profound discovery that I'm sure many people have made before me. (Since maybe a hundred billion people have ever been born, probably 999,999,999,000 people have preceded me.) When your kid asks you to tell her a story, you DO NOT HAVE TO MAKE ONE UP. (And if, like me, you have no imagination whatsoever, and always tell stories about nice kids who brush their teeth very thoroughly and say please and thankyou in the course of their incredibly boring days, this is a very good discovery to make.) You can retell a story you remember dimly from your childhood, and your kid will listen raptly to your every word, and beg to hear the whole fumbling thing again.

If you happen to pick a story that at one point involved Judy Garland and the entire midget population of California, you may have difficulty recalling the plot, which is weird. This doesn't matter. Your kid thinks this is the most mindbogglingly fantastic story ever, even though you keep backtracking ("oh, and there were these shoes!") and the plot has some serious holes in it. Your kid doesn't care, because at least nobody brushes their teeth, and when the witch gets squished, nobody apologizes. Also, it's SCARY. This is thrilling.
You will never have to make up another boring story again. Congratulations!

(photo of amazing pumpkin from http://www.flickr.com/photos/digitalburn/283576582/)