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Yesterday we switched Duchess from her "Park Shark" swim lesson to another aquatic activity she had noticed going on at the same time. Screw boring old solitary swimming; Duchess is taking synchronized swimming now, and she thinks it's the best thing ever. I went straight home and checked to see if this is the kind of obscure activity that has scholarships attached to it, because that's the kind of helicopter parent I am. Regrettably, there are no significant scholarships available, but she can set her sights on Ohio State University (apologies to Papa Big Cook), which spends the most money of any school on their synchronized swimming program.