Humility vs Starness
I recently read an opinion piece that resonated with me. Okay, it was about the pope, which is not a topic that interests me. But it was also about humility, which is something I've thought about a lot in the last five years.
I've thought a lot about humility in my own life. I'm not sure that I'm a humble person, but I certainly have never thought I have all the answers, or even any of them. I have been encouraged in my personal life and professional life to do what I consider to be bragging, but what is usually described in language like "owning your accomplishments!" I have a really, really hard time with this. I recognize that I undermine myself personally and professionally by under-emphasizing my abilities and emphasizing my errors and failures. I see that my constant questioning of everything makes me prone to paralysis; I am unable to muster the momentum required to push through obstacles, and I let stuff drop that I probably should have pushed. I see that people who are confident can barrel their ideas to manifestation. However, I resist what the world is telling me, which is that I should be pitching myself all the time. I feel that people who push their ideas or their abilities, without regard to quality, do not always serve the community well. I think that people like me, who are sensitive to issues of quality, context, and unintended consequences, have a lot to contribute to a strong society. I think there should be a place for humility.
I think I'm teaching my kids humility. Maybe. (It's hard to tell, because most kids, in my experience, are prone to announcing how great they are at anything. Skipper told me last recently that her substitute teacher that day told her she was a star, and because of her "starness," she was given first choice of stations at choosing time.) But I fear that I am doing them a disservice, particularly given that they are girls. Women tend to undersell themselves across the board, while men tend to oversell themselves. Anyway, I don't think the future is going to be a place that rewards humility in men or women; the present certainly doesn't.
I've thought a lot about humility in my own life. I'm not sure that I'm a humble person, but I certainly have never thought I have all the answers, or even any of them. I have been encouraged in my personal life and professional life to do what I consider to be bragging, but what is usually described in language like "owning your accomplishments!" I have a really, really hard time with this. I recognize that I undermine myself personally and professionally by under-emphasizing my abilities and emphasizing my errors and failures. I see that my constant questioning of everything makes me prone to paralysis; I am unable to muster the momentum required to push through obstacles, and I let stuff drop that I probably should have pushed. I see that people who are confident can barrel their ideas to manifestation. However, I resist what the world is telling me, which is that I should be pitching myself all the time. I feel that people who push their ideas or their abilities, without regard to quality, do not always serve the community well. I think that people like me, who are sensitive to issues of quality, context, and unintended consequences, have a lot to contribute to a strong society. I think there should be a place for humility.
I think I'm teaching my kids humility. Maybe. (It's hard to tell, because most kids, in my experience, are prone to announcing how great they are at anything. Skipper told me last recently that her substitute teacher that day told her she was a star, and because of her "starness," she was given first choice of stations at choosing time.) But I fear that I am doing them a disservice, particularly given that they are girls. Women tend to undersell themselves across the board, while men tend to oversell themselves. Anyway, I don't think the future is going to be a place that rewards humility in men or women; the present certainly doesn't.
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