free ranging
Duchess walked home from school alone one day this week, for the first time. She attended a dance practice after school, and she still wasn't home 45 minutes after the practice was supposed to end. I tried hard not to be a helicopter parent, but I still got pretty freaked out, and finally I cracked and got out my bike. I rode out the driveway, imagining her lying under a car in the middle of an intersection, and I immediately saw her non-imaginarily turning the corner at the end of the block. She was perplexed to see me. Apparently, the practice ran late, and then her friend's mom didn't show up to pick HER up, and so Duchess hung out with her for a little while, looking for the mom. "If I had a phone, Mom, I could have called you and then you wouldn't have had to worry," she said casually.
She has, of course, been talking to her friends about her new once-a-week solitary commute. One of her friends said she's not allowed to walk home alone until 6th grade, because her parents are afraid she'll be kidnapped. Duchess seemed slightly aggrieved that I'm not worried she will get kidnapped. We discussed statistics and availability heuristics, and she seemed appeased.
Other parents have one of two reactions when they find out we've started doing this. They either say "Oh, good for her! I was thinking it was time for My Kid to start walking home alone," or they say "But she's only nine!"
Duchess is careful and cautious by temperament, and is well-trained in defensive pedestrianing. She looks for turning cars, she makes eye contact with drivers, and she always assumes that drivers are stupid, distracted, AND drunk. Also, she knows that her brain isn't yet able to gauge distance and speed accurately, and she should never fully trust her perception of oncoming traffic. It's a straightforward walk, routed mostly off busy streets; she has to cross twelve minor streets, and two major streets (at lighted intersections). She knows the area very well, including the homes of family friends where she could go for help if necessary. I'm home when she gets home, so the window of unsupervised time is pretty small. We've talked through a number of scenarios that could arise (most based on things we've actually experienced - a guy standing on a corner screaming profanities at passing cars, sidewalks unexpectedly blocked for construction, etc.). We did NOT talk about the possibility of a friend wanting company. We're going to go over social scenarios before her next walk home, so I don't have to panic next time.
She has, of course, been talking to her friends about her new once-a-week solitary commute. One of her friends said she's not allowed to walk home alone until 6th grade, because her parents are afraid she'll be kidnapped. Duchess seemed slightly aggrieved that I'm not worried she will get kidnapped. We discussed statistics and availability heuristics, and she seemed appeased.
Other parents have one of two reactions when they find out we've started doing this. They either say "Oh, good for her! I was thinking it was time for My Kid to start walking home alone," or they say "But she's only nine!"
Duchess is careful and cautious by temperament, and is well-trained in defensive pedestrianing. She looks for turning cars, she makes eye contact with drivers, and she always assumes that drivers are stupid, distracted, AND drunk. Also, she knows that her brain isn't yet able to gauge distance and speed accurately, and she should never fully trust her perception of oncoming traffic. It's a straightforward walk, routed mostly off busy streets; she has to cross twelve minor streets, and two major streets (at lighted intersections). She knows the area very well, including the homes of family friends where she could go for help if necessary. I'm home when she gets home, so the window of unsupervised time is pretty small. We've talked through a number of scenarios that could arise (most based on things we've actually experienced - a guy standing on a corner screaming profanities at passing cars, sidewalks unexpectedly blocked for construction, etc.). We did NOT talk about the possibility of a friend wanting company. We're going to go over social scenarios before her next walk home, so I don't have to panic next time.
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