Not the same
Skipper is not like her sister. This is something of which I have to remind myself every day. We were parenting blank slates when Dutch was born, and we picked up on her preferences. This time, we assume we know what Skipper wants (ie what Dutch wanted), and we're thus slower to catch on to what she DOES want.
She often wants to be held away from the holder's torso, so she can look at us (and the ceiling, or something else totally random but apparently fascinating). Sometimes she actually wants to be just put down and left alone. I'd read about this phenomenon in various parenting books, but it was definitely not the case with Dutch, who wanted nothing more than to be snuggled up ALL DAY LONG, and was always the sort of baby who molded herself to your body. So I assumed it was parental fantasy, like that alleged "fussing" that babies were supposed to do. Today I got home from an outing with Skipper, who was grumpy and crying when we walked in the door. I put her into the Chair of Doom so I could put away groceries and wash my hands, and she almost immediately stopped crying. She sat there happily staring at furniture for about 15 minutes before announcing that she was done ("Eh! EEHHH!! EEHHHHH!!!!!!!"). I don't recall Dutch EVER stopping crying spontaneously after being put down. Ever.
Also, Dutch started smiling responsively in her 4th week of life, and Skipper has yet to give us any social smiles at all, well into her 6th week. When I look back at Dutch's infancy, in the brilliance of hindsight, I can identify things - crying as an immediate response to a problem, interest in interacting face-to-face, snuggliness - that are consistent with her personality - lack of resilience, desire for interaction, sensitive response to other people, etc. Where Skipper differs, I immediately assume it means she's going to be entirely the opposite of her sister. Hm. Maybe if I get all this assuming and generalizing and comparing out of the way now, I can provide these girls with an emotionally healthy sibling relationship...
And anyway, Skipper is truly not the stern, semi-autistic hermit I'm making her out to be. She's starting to show signs of turning into a baby-baby (you know, the sort of baby you see in commercials, all chubby and smiley) - she's just hit the 10-pound mark, and spends quite a bit of time looking around with wide eyes* and trying to make her arms obey her will. Her acne is clearing up a bit, and when strangers tell me she's beautiful, I say "Yes, she is! Thank you!" instead of "Ha! You're totally delusional, or maybe blind!"
The other main difference with this second-kid experience is that I'm having a really strong urge to put a hairclip in her hair, something I've always scorned when other parents do it. It's just... she has HAIR! Real hair! I just feel like I should celebrate it!** Also, I've got these hairclips that certain other members of the household refuse to wear because they're not pretty enough... photos coming soon.
* Not so much skeptical squinting going on. She does still look pretty worried, though.
** Dutch was practically bald for her first two years of life. She had this ridiculous mullet - about 2 inches long on top, and these long thin curls in the back, and I resisted Cook's pleading to cut it for far too long.
She often wants to be held away from the holder's torso, so she can look at us (and the ceiling, or something else totally random but apparently fascinating). Sometimes she actually wants to be just put down and left alone. I'd read about this phenomenon in various parenting books, but it was definitely not the case with Dutch, who wanted nothing more than to be snuggled up ALL DAY LONG, and was always the sort of baby who molded herself to your body. So I assumed it was parental fantasy, like that alleged "fussing" that babies were supposed to do. Today I got home from an outing with Skipper, who was grumpy and crying when we walked in the door. I put her into the Chair of Doom so I could put away groceries and wash my hands, and she almost immediately stopped crying. She sat there happily staring at furniture for about 15 minutes before announcing that she was done ("Eh! EEHHH!! EEHHHHH!!!!!!!"). I don't recall Dutch EVER stopping crying spontaneously after being put down. Ever.
Also, Dutch started smiling responsively in her 4th week of life, and Skipper has yet to give us any social smiles at all, well into her 6th week. When I look back at Dutch's infancy, in the brilliance of hindsight, I can identify things - crying as an immediate response to a problem, interest in interacting face-to-face, snuggliness - that are consistent with her personality - lack of resilience, desire for interaction, sensitive response to other people, etc. Where Skipper differs, I immediately assume it means she's going to be entirely the opposite of her sister. Hm. Maybe if I get all this assuming and generalizing and comparing out of the way now, I can provide these girls with an emotionally healthy sibling relationship...
And anyway, Skipper is truly not the stern, semi-autistic hermit I'm making her out to be. She's starting to show signs of turning into a baby-baby (you know, the sort of baby you see in commercials, all chubby and smiley) - she's just hit the 10-pound mark, and spends quite a bit of time looking around with wide eyes* and trying to make her arms obey her will. Her acne is clearing up a bit, and when strangers tell me she's beautiful, I say "Yes, she is! Thank you!" instead of "Ha! You're totally delusional, or maybe blind!"
The other main difference with this second-kid experience is that I'm having a really strong urge to put a hairclip in her hair, something I've always scorned when other parents do it. It's just... she has HAIR! Real hair! I just feel like I should celebrate it!** Also, I've got these hairclips that certain other members of the household refuse to wear because they're not pretty enough... photos coming soon.
* Not so much skeptical squinting going on. She does still look pretty worried, though.
** Dutch was practically bald for her first two years of life. She had this ridiculous mullet - about 2 inches long on top, and these long thin curls in the back, and I resisted Cook's pleading to cut it for far too long.
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