The news

I can't remember if Dutch was this awful when she was two. Skipper is just... awful. Scenes of inconsolable misery unfold every day, often following this template: "Me want dis! Me not want dis! Me DO! No! Me not want dis! Me WANT DIS!!!" and tears. She wants to do everything herself, but she can't, of course, because she's still very new and mostly incompetent, and then she gets furious. She constantly whines for the parent other than the one tending her at the moment. She hates it when we fail to read her mind. She tries to boss everyone around, and flies into a rage if we don't do as she commands. She's like Donald Trump in striped pants. She's AWFUL. She's also awfully adorable, which has got to be an evolutionary trick to prevent us from murdering her, because she gets pretty close to it anyway.

Apparently I've been saying "Skipper! Jesus God Almighty!" pretty frequently, because Dutch has now picked it up. Also the parental classic "Skipper! I have HAD ENOUGH!!!!"*

Anyway, I've had enough. If you'd like to take care of an incredibly two-ish two-year-old for a few weeks, let me know. We have a lot of boxes around here.

In other news, it's raining (still! again!!!) and Cook had gum graft surgery today.** He's limited to squishy foods for a few days, and his mouth hurts, but the surgery outcome that's bothering him most is that he has a bandaid stuck to the roof of his mouth, and it's driving him crazy. Just thinking of having a bandaid stuck to the roof of my mouth makes me feel uncomfortable, so I'm sympathetic. Also, he's not allowed to get his heart-rate up for a few days. No listening to the news!

*Has this ever in the history of parenting actually been effective in making the child stop being horrible? I mean, without walloping the kid while yelling at them.

**Bless you, health benefits. Bless you!!!