Privileged Pastry
Agonizing over the state of daycare in general and our daycare in particular has reminded me of something I read somewhere (probably something written by the schmaltzy but sincere Jonathan Kozol), which pointed out the obvious and appalling fact that rich white kids go to excellent schools and poor black kids go to bad schools. Which I knew. But then the essay (which really must have been by Kozol) went on to point out that the academic success of the rich white kids actually requires the academic failure of the poor black kids, when it come to national tests like the SATs - somebody has to have low scores, or the kids with the high scores won't stand out. If all schools served all students equally well, it would be MUCH harder to achieve academic superiority. This applies generally to pretty much everything. There is only so much pie, and somebody has to get a very small piece in order for me to get a big piece.
I have been given very big pieces of everything. I've always recognized that I'm very fortunate to have been born into my life. But reading that made me realize that not only was I fortunate, and other people not so fortunate (a perception that put no onus on me), but that my good fortune DEPENDED on the misfortune of others. This shift in perception meant that I have a responsibility to the world to at least try very hard to equalize some kind of pie. I haven't even come close to meeting that responsibility.
Today, when Dutch and I were walking home from the bus stop, a homeless woman asked me for money, and I refused her. Dutch asked me why she needed money, and I said I didn't know. Dutch asked me why I didn't give her any money, and I said because we didn't have any to spare. But that's flagrantly untrue. We may be unable to afford super-swanky daycare and expensive new shoes, but we have much more money than she does. So do I tell Dutch that I'm not giving this woman money because I really need the money to spend on heirloom tomatoes? Dutch is boggled by the notion that some people don't have homes. She can't figure out how that's possible. I tell her I have no idea.
I have been given very big pieces of everything. I've always recognized that I'm very fortunate to have been born into my life. But reading that made me realize that not only was I fortunate, and other people not so fortunate (a perception that put no onus on me), but that my good fortune DEPENDED on the misfortune of others. This shift in perception meant that I have a responsibility to the world to at least try very hard to equalize some kind of pie. I haven't even come close to meeting that responsibility.
Today, when Dutch and I were walking home from the bus stop, a homeless woman asked me for money, and I refused her. Dutch asked me why she needed money, and I said I didn't know. Dutch asked me why I didn't give her any money, and I said because we didn't have any to spare. But that's flagrantly untrue. We may be unable to afford super-swanky daycare and expensive new shoes, but we have much more money than she does. So do I tell Dutch that I'm not giving this woman money because I really need the money to spend on heirloom tomatoes? Dutch is boggled by the notion that some people don't have homes. She can't figure out how that's possible. I tell her I have no idea.
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