Manners

The other day I was seated on the bus with Dutch next to me when an obese man with two canes boarded the bus. He clearly needed to sit, and he clearly needed two seats. I looked around, unwilling to give up my seat , and I realized that nobody else was going to get up, so I rousted Dutch, and we went over to another single seat, where I sat down and balanced her in what's left of my lap. I felt very indignant - I'm used to being the first person to give up my seat most of the time, even as I get more and more hugely pregnant, but really, I think that somebody OTHER than the hugely pregnant woman with the preschooler in tow should have been the one to stand up.

Dutch and I talk a lot about being respectful and thoughtful, and she has absorbed my belief in the importance of courtesy, especially in a crowded urban setting. But I'm probably doing her a disservice. In this world, I think nice* people really do finish last. We don't get jobs, we don't get to sit down on the bus, we don't get any of the treats when the numbers are limited. I should be teaching her to be the one who ignores the guy with the canes. I'm teaching her skills that are helpful collectively but not individually. And yet... I can't quite bring myself to go for a more Alex Keaton approach. Maybe with the next kid.


*By nice I mean polite and unaggressive. I'm not actually nice at all, but I am fairly courteous.