I'm the one whining.
*Warning: self-pity wallow ahead!*
I'm having a pretty glass half-empty period right now, as Dutch could tell you, despairing about my job prospects, and Cook's. I am wobbling around in a chronic state of exhaustion and anxiety. I would say that I really need a vacation, except that what I REALLY need is a job, and the gaping holes in my schedule after June 14 are a cause for dread, not for anticipation.
I've talked to Dutch a lot lately about borrowing trouble. She tends to immediately leap to the worst-case scenario for the future when she's under stress. We've talked about how it can be a good idea to prepare for and act to prevent the worst-case scenario, but that there's a line between doing that and just freaking out needlessly and making yourself miserable over something that may or may not happen.
At the moment, I'm trying to walk that line. There are so few job postings that I need to be aggressively networking and sniffing out any and all possibilities. But I don't have TIME! And I'm exhausted! I'm doing some of the preventing-and-preparing work,* but I don't have the capacity to do enough. So I worry, instead, because I can do that while I walk and cook and wash dishes and lie fruitlessly awake at night. I worry a LOT.
I want to buffer the girls from this overwhelming anxiety, but I'm really not succeeding. Dutch knows the facts about our situation (temp jobs, no idea where we'll be in six months, etc.). I've told her that I feel stressed about it. But I would prefer for her to remain ignorant about how deeply terrible it's making us feel.
Instability: not great for family life. Go figure.
*Okay, I'm done. Now, I will remind myself that, in fact, nobody is dumping crap on me, and my life is actually pretty awesome. Unstable, yes, but awesome.*
*I check job postings at all the places I can think of. I check listservs. You know, the bare minimum.
I'm having a pretty glass half-empty period right now, as Dutch could tell you, despairing about my job prospects, and Cook's. I am wobbling around in a chronic state of exhaustion and anxiety. I would say that I really need a vacation, except that what I REALLY need is a job, and the gaping holes in my schedule after June 14 are a cause for dread, not for anticipation.
I've talked to Dutch a lot lately about borrowing trouble. She tends to immediately leap to the worst-case scenario for the future when she's under stress. We've talked about how it can be a good idea to prepare for and act to prevent the worst-case scenario, but that there's a line between doing that and just freaking out needlessly and making yourself miserable over something that may or may not happen.
At the moment, I'm trying to walk that line. There are so few job postings that I need to be aggressively networking and sniffing out any and all possibilities. But I don't have TIME! And I'm exhausted! I'm doing some of the preventing-and-preparing work,* but I don't have the capacity to do enough. So I worry, instead, because I can do that while I walk and cook and wash dishes and lie fruitlessly awake at night. I worry a LOT.
I want to buffer the girls from this overwhelming anxiety, but I'm really not succeeding. Dutch knows the facts about our situation (temp jobs, no idea where we'll be in six months, etc.). I've told her that I feel stressed about it. But I would prefer for her to remain ignorant about how deeply terrible it's making us feel.
Instability: not great for family life. Go figure.
*Okay, I'm done. Now, I will remind myself that, in fact, nobody is dumping crap on me, and my life is actually pretty awesome. Unstable, yes, but awesome.*
*I check job postings at all the places I can think of. I check listservs. You know, the bare minimum.
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